Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Just take what life throws at you!

Well I have had an eventful couple of weeks, some good things happened and some very annoying things have happened!

The first thing that I suppose has effected a lot of my issues, is the fact that I fractured a bone in my foot during class four weeks ago now. I couldn't believe that I had done it! I have never broken a bone in my life and now when I need my feet for work I go ahead and do that!!! Angry and foolish are the first two words that spring to mind!

So after been issued with my Moon Boot (that's what the Scene One students called it) I thought at least I'm not in cast, it could be worse, the only thing I couldn't do was drive! As a result of not being able to drive I haven't made any of my Cultural NL classes for four weeks and I am truly starting to miss all the students that I teach there and it makes me realise how lucky I am to have a job that I truly love and enjoy going to every week.

I have been.. sort of.... evaluating my life ever since I had this moon boot placed, ever so painfully, on my foot. I don't know if it is because I have had time to sit and think but I definitely have been thinking.... a lot!
I know I have said before that I do want to be actress and I do want to pursue that dream until it happens but part of me thinks that I need to be practical........I can't give my children (when they come) everything I want them to have not having the security and the knowledge that my job makes enough for what they need. This conflicting feeling has been bouncing around inside my head ever since we moved into our house. It made me think that I am no longer one person, I now part of my own family. I need to provide for myself and for Paul so that we can achieve everything we want in life. It does sound rather deep but it is true.

On a great day out, One of my longest and dearest friends gave me reassurance that these feelings were ok and that everyone of her friends are feeling the same. She said something really obvious that made me feel instantly better, she said that everyone is searching for that perfect vocation that gives them the amount of money needed to provide for their family but also fulfils their dreams in life. She also never tells me a lie and always helps me make the right decisions (so I know it is right thing to do) As we sat in the bean scene eating our lunch I realised that being a teacher and a performer is the right way for me to go. Its the best of both worlds, I get to pass my passion and knowledge onto people who respect it and also satisfy my creative mind.

This is when my NEW dream was born, I want to become a drama teacher within secondary schools.
It is something I have toyed with for a while but I now realised it is MY perfect vocation. The tough part is obviously going to be getting back into University and not just any University, Edinburgh University.

It will be a challenge but hopefully will all the support around me I'll make it come true.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


As everyone knows I really want to be an actor, so for that to work I need an agent........

So the fact that I don't have one has been playing on my mind for about four years and I have desperately tried to get one but one question always arises when I am talking to a representative

"What was your first professional job?"

Which I then reply after a sigh "I haven't had one yet"

which leaves them on the phone thinking this girl is wasting her time here just give up and go and get a crappy normal job like everyone else, oh wait a minute I already have that ( words Green and saving you money everyday covers that)

How do they expect you to have professional experience if you don't  have an agent????
Most castings are closed ones and extremely difficult to get so I am at a complete loss.

Why can't you just have talent and passion???? I believe I have both of those things with a massive measure of enthusiasm thrown in. Deflated, one word for how I feel about this.

To help my situation I have signed up to Casting Call Pro something I thought I wouldn't have been able to get since I didn't go to a "Registered Drama School"  but to my surprise it accepted my application, I will use this for a month and see if it at least gets me a show reel. Right now I don't really want money I just want experience and the chance to perform and find my true self again.

This industry just frustrates me, half the people in it are talentless and just there because of luck and chance. I don't want to leave my career up to chance, I am going to take control. I don't care if the only thing I get out of this is a chorus member in crap local pantomime or a walk on part in a film or a TV programme at least if I get that I can say I was a professional actor.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Maybe I will start to write a blog....

Hello Everyone,

I have been thinking for a while that I would continue writing my blog that I started 3 years ago when I headed off on my my amazing adventure to NYC.

So much has happened in the three years since. I have bought my own house, I am getting married, I am now teaching wonderful children, I have joined forces with a dear friend and created a great theatre school called Scene One Theatre Arts and I have performed in great shows.

Speaking to my BFF Katie tonight made me think about taking up the blog again. I sometimes get caught up in other peoples lives and achievements that I don't reflect on my own. I don't look at the amazing things I am doing and just focus on the goals I haven't achieved yet. So I think by writing this will make me realise that events happen for a reason and my dreams will come to me in time and I should just appreciate what I have at this moment in time and most importantly be proud.

I have decided tonight that I am going to have a singing lesson every month to get back into the mind set of a performer and also to get my passion back. I have been so focused on my wonderful students that I have thought about my own performing efforts. So I will phone my great singing teacher tomorrow and set up that all important first lesson back!

Jen x